Colleagues vs Mosman Round 7

Colleagues take on Mosman tomorrow for the first time since last year’s Grand Final. That day the Blue Giants battled it out against the Whales in the top 3 grades for the Premiership title, with the good guys coming through in Burke and Whiddon. We all remember how the Kentwell Cup finished so let’s not recap that.

Tomorrow it’s a slightly different story for the two clubs, with the same three grades sitting midway up their respective ladders. Drummoyne and Petersham are proving to be the club’s to beat in 2017. The Dirty Reds have only dropped one game in the top three grades thus far. That’s next week’s challenge for the Blue Giants.

Colleagues Kentwell Cup welcome back their NSW Subbies representatives into the side as well as the club’s most beautiful man, Josh “I said I loved you but I lied” Boulton. The elusive openside flanker’s form in Burke Cup in recent weeks has earnt him his first start in Kentwell this week. His mobility around the park is second only to his mobility around the lovely ladies at the Woollahra Hotel.

Woollahra No.2 Oval
• 10am Halligan
• 11am Sutherland
• 12pm Judd
• 1pm Whiddon
• 2pm Burke
• 3:15pm Kentwell

Woollahra No.3 Oval
• 1:30pm Colts 1st

Tantallon Oval, Lane Cove
• 12pm Colts 2nd v Lane Cove 2nd Colts

Today’s headlines:

Given the extradition of our good friends Lindfield from last year’s Div 1 competition, a source in deep within the governing body can reveal the NSW suburban rugby union has now focused their eyes on the overall playing group, checking visas and Australian residencies in a hope to realign grass roots rugby back to the glory days. With the recent Wallabies shock loss to Scotland still taking hold from last weekend and the playing ranks reportedly in turmoil, the ARU has for the first time contacted grass roots rugby pursuing the tag line #makerugbygreatagain in hope they assist in keeping players from exiting the game. Their approach which has been endorsed by ARU’s well respected CEO Bill Pulvner, is to ‘weed out’ all expat players from grass roots rugby and really focus on the “core’ players.

With a plethora of men residing from ‘over the duch’ colleagues is currently under investigation for importing too many players not originating from Straya. A statement from the New South Wales Suburban Rugby Union (NSWSRU) chairman states: “The suburban rugby competition is focusing on key attributes in players in the 2018 season, with all players next year having to undergo written & verbal tests to qualify as a registered player”

The assessment will somewhat depict the Australian citizens test currently undertaken by refugees and immigrants, including having to explain the terms ‘thong’ and ‘gernie’ in depth, just to name a few, as well as having the ability to crush 20+ golden throat Chalmers on a Friday evening prior to game day Saturday (while still maintaining a single digit beverage consumption per facility rule). Colleagues secretary Dave Burnett provided a statement to #Fakenews “All Colleagues players are currently being consulted one-on-one with, tutoring currently being organised to ‘upskill’ our expats in Australian colloquialisms”. The NSWSRU will be rolling out the assessments in the lead up to next year’s season through an app in the coming months, and encourage all those affected to get right into it. #Fakenews tried to contact a one Mr Richard ‘SAV’ Saville (right) for comment on behalf of the New Zealand Expat Rugby Union Players Association (NZERUPA) however we have been informed he does talk to media or comment on any issues or talk at all.

Colleagues players can book in time for ‘clarification’ around these new rules and vernacular at the Woollahra hotel from Monday – Sunday from between the hours of 5pm – 12pm.

NB* Woollahra Collegues Rugby Club will happily sponsor any player emproiled in the above issues but please contact Winston ‘I’m not a first grader’ Bradley via fax only on (02) 4568 6895.

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Despite wild rumours to the contrary fake news has been reliably informed that Burke cup enforcer Darcy Henry Lewis Hilton’s “FTP” leg tattoo does not in fact stand for “F%ck the Police”.  Fake News understands that Mr Hilton has been a groupie of the band Foster The People (known by all real fans as FTP) ever since they released the alternative/indie banger “Pumped up Kicks” in 2011.  On the back of this revelation Mr Hilton’s intimidation factor has taken a serious blow.  He is understood to have been sited asking for tips on how to get his fear factor back from well-known club hard man Nick “Flowers” Valentine.  Watch out Mossman.

As a sponsor of Colleagues, Car Next Door is extending two special offers for Colleagues players, family and friends. (USE THE CODE ‘COLLEAGUES’ in the ‘where did you hear about us’ section to receive the following deals):

– Do you own a car but don’t use it much? Car Next Door is offering Colleagues players, family and friends $150 for listing your vehicle on the platform.
– Don’t own a car but need one from time to time? Car Next Door is offering borrowers $30 for signing up.

For further information see the website: www.carnextdoor.com.au, or call the office on (02) 8035 8000

Welcome back to rugby Colleagues!

With a disjointed start to the season we now have 5 weeks of games to set us up for the club championship and the run to finals. It all starts on Saturday against Mosman. The whales play a similar style to Colleagues and with the extra weeks off its going to be a tough game across the grades.

There will be beers and Wallabies/Lions on in the clubhouse so stick around and help cheer on Kentwell in a rematch of last years GF… going to be a cracking game!

Manatee out…

Name: Pete Minucos
Team Coaching: Burkies
Date of Birth: 23-03-79
Home Town: Sydney
Years as a Colleagues Player: 10
Position(s) Played: 7-8-9-10-11-15
Highest Team played: Kentwell
Games played:140
Years as a Colleagues Coach: 13
Games coached: ~280 (yes DB, I know that seems high…there were 3 seasons where I coached 2 grades)
Greatest Colleagues memory: Probably something in 1999 colts that I’ve forgotten
What makes Colleagues a successful club: No paid administrators.

Name: Mark Roddy
Date of Birth: 11/10/1989
Height: 180cm
Weight: 85kg
Home town: Tumut
First year at the club:2008
Position(s) played: Who knows
Highest team played: 1st
Games played: Circa 150
Body parts strapped for games: Depends on the weekly injury
Greatest Colleagues memory: Hmmm which grand final? The oak after our 5 from 5 was pretty special.
What brought you to the club: Some guys from school in the year above had played colleagues the year before.
What makes Colleagues a successful club: The large amount of guys pulling the strings in the background. Without them colleagues could not be the great club that it is today.

2017 Events

22nd July – Old Colleagues Day v Waverley

12th August – Ladies Day 2 v Balmain

26th August – Colleagues Black Tie Ball

9th September – Grand Final Day

16th September – Presentation Day Woollahra Hotel

Photos by www.spaimages.com.au

SIGN UP AND GET A FREE COLLEAGUES BEER CARD – 11 FREE BEERS

This cost you nothing! Even Minucos has done it. Have a read.

Together with the Waratahs and New South Wales Rugby Union, we’ve developed a program to support grassroots rugby and local clubs.

This is an opportunity to earn $$ for your club and we strongly urge you to get this offer to your players and supporters, and your wider club community.

Your members get a discount on their energy bills, and your club earns money. Win-Win!

Summary:
›       Each person that joins the “AGL Waratahs energy plan” will earn their club:
»      $100 donation (electricity)
»      $50 donation (gas)
»      Up to $150 annually
»      Donation paid every year they remain on the plan.
»      Current AGL customers are eligible if they join the “AGL Waratahs energy plan”.
›      16% guaranteed discount off electricity bills.
›      12% guaranteed discount off gas bills.
›      Additional 2% discount if you have both gas and electricity with AGL.

The attachment is very thorough and explains the AGL Rugby Waratahs Program in detail and provides numbers and links for questions.

Sign up online at agl.com.au/rugby or call us on 1300 AGL TAHS (that’s 1300 245 824).